Alexa Babin

For such a simple question, I find this stupidly hard to answer. Especially on a day like today. It’s Tuesday, February 4, 2025, and it’s the first day I’ve felt the freedom to completely “turn off” in two weeks.

I’ve been working in production for a tv show the last two weeks, and while I had a couple days off scattered in the mix, I still felt “on.” I still had to be in bed by a certain time so I could get up and go back to work the next day. I still had to be mindful of resting to prepare to go back to the chaos for the next however many days before my next day off. To be clear—it was fun chaos. A chaos I’d choose over and over again, and I have. But when the train stops, and I can actually chill out… it’s weird. Hard, even.

So that’s where I’m at today, finally in a place where I am not needed, not being called upon, not responsible for waking up at a predetermined time tomorrow (unless I decide to go the gym, which, let’s be honest, I probably will). I’m free. Left to my own devices after insane hours of hard work on a tv show that I love.

But here’s the thing—on the day I most needed to rest, it was hard to let myself.

This isn’t uncommon, I know. Tons of us are conditioned to be high achievers, and we get a dopamine hit from being useful. I’m not an anomaly in that sense. But since that’s the case, I decided to take a closer look at what’s going on beneath the surface.

Why is it hard to rest when it’s often the thing I need most?

When I stop, my uncertainty, insecurity, and still-haven’t-sorted-it-out-yet friends love to come out to play. That to-do list I jotted down at midnight the other night? It’s a blaring fire alarm now that I have time to chip away at it. That reminder in my calendar to text the girl who’s new to LA and needs guidance? It’s more urgent that it’s ever been. That nagging awareness that I haven’t called my parents in a few days longer than normal? Well, it’s basically an amber alert in my brain. All the things that have been put off are now rearing up to claim my free time. Who cares about rest? We’re more important!

And then there’s all the creative pursuits that I’ve temporarily paused while I work 12+ hour days. Scripts, manuscripts, short films, ideas that haven’t left the journal—they’re all calling my name, begging to be tended to… NOW. No wonder it’s hard to rest when everything seems to demand my attention the moment I have a spare ten minutes.

Not to mention the friends I’ve been trying to have over for dinner, or catch up with on the phone, or buy 30^th birthday presents for.

Even though the list consists almost entirely of all good things—the list is endless.

And yet…

I have to rest. I know myself. I know that despite my illusions of limitlessness, I have very clearly defined parameters within which I function best. I am aware that my human design requires deep rest.

Not scrolling. Not hours spent watching tv (though I’ll confess I spent some quality time with Ted Lasso last night). Not starting text convos when I actually don’t feel emotionally able to keep up the back and forth.

No, I’m talking real rest.

So, how do I do it? How do I rest?

Taking a walk.

Journaling.

Praying.

Reading a book.

Spending one on one time with a dear friend.

Listening to music.

Being outdoors.

Painting.

Writing (when it’s the easy kind, like this).

Now it’s your turn… how do you rest?