Alexa Babin

Hello, dear reader! I regret that it’s been a month since I’ve written here; however, lots of life has been transpiring, and I do not regret being present for all of that.

But I’m back! I’m ready to write to you (or just to myself) about some thoughts that have been swirling and gaining momentum in my mind the last few weeks.

For today – it’s about growth. I’ve been in a season of feeling pushed to new limits, getting a little uncomfortable, exhausted, and having to check my reactions when I feel stretched too thin. Part of these last few weeks have felt akin to someone wordlessly holding up a mirror, catching sight of my own reflection, and having to face the aspects of the image staring back at me that could use some improvement. Some growth.

So, this is where you find me today. Contemplating what is required to actually change for the better. The caveat is that there’s way more to it than what I’m writing about today—this is merely the posture of the starting point as I see it.

I went to Greece for my 30^th birthday at the end of May. That’s how a lot of this started. It took getting out of my normal world to see the things in myself that are due for an update. (And if you’re curious to read more about that topic, I wrote a whole book about how travel stirs something in us and prompts self-reflection… and you can get it here!)

The first step to growth is noticing that it’s necessary. Seeing the areas of your life that need adjusting. You don’t have to be in a dire situation, or even feel that a massive growth spurt is required. Little growth counts, too.

Greece did that for me. Maybe entering a new decade was a part of it as well. While I was abroad, I saw things in myself that I recognized as ways of thinking that I’d like to grow out of.

Noticing. Recognizing. Acknowledging.

Start there.

Now I know sometimes this initial step can cause defenses to shoot up. Seeing the reflection can ignite a strong knee jerk reaction – it’s not that bad! I’m okay! I don’t need to change! Of course, we’re always welcome to let those walls rise, but I wonder what would happen if we didn’t?

Willingness comes next. We see the thing that could use some work, but then we have to be open to a little bit of painful adjustment. This is the part where there may be blood, sweat, and tears that we were hoping to avoid. In my experience, some level of elbow grease is required to change and grow. But here’s the funny thing—that “work” of change may not feel directly like effort, but it often feels uncomfortable. We are good at getting set in our ways of existing, of thinking, of moving through life. When you make the conscious decision to shift that, things feel wonky. Off-kilter. Difficult. It’s the awkward in-between of who you are and who you want to be. And sadly, this is where it’s easiest to bail, to jump off the growth ship and say, It’s fine! I’ll do this later! And then we’re right back where we started.

Hear me out – just keep going.

Keep moving through the growth space that feels awful and annoying and hard. That is the only way. You’ll also find how much tolerance you have for growth by the way you handle this phase. If you haven’t made a concerted effort to grow in a while, this may feel harder than if you’re a person constantly seeking ways to improve. No judgment there. I’ve been in both camps during different seasons of my life! Regardless, pay attention and take note of where you fall in the process.

Willingness to change is key.

Finally, there’s maintenance. Careful attention to nourish your new normal. Effort to establish new routines, or solidify new habits, or cultivate new ways of thinking. Growth is only as good as our ability to hold on to it. It’s often easier to slip into old ways than stand firm in the new ones. But it’s worth it. Don’t go through the fire and make it to the other side just to reverse the good that was accomplished along the way.

My swim coach used to tell us that people fall to their highest level of training. When we’re stressed and under pressure, we can only show up as well as we’ve trained ourselves to show up. How we handle the little frustrations of life dictates how we will manage the big ones. So, the growth is worth it.

Notice and acknowledge the areas that could use work.

Be willing to engage in the work of growth.

Devote yourself to maintaining the new version that emerges.

Let me know how it goes… until then, stay the course! I’m in it with you.