Alexa Babin

Accountability used to be something of a threatening word. Being “held accountable” sounded like being called out and having to own up to a crime so you could receive the punishment. Being accountable meant being responsible—and that didn’t always seem appealing.

But if I look back on my life and really think about it from a big picture perspective, accountability has helped me be the type of person I want to be.

Hear me out… how can we grow if we don’t surround ourselves with people or systems that help us stay true to ourselves? Being accountable doesn’t have to mean bearing the weight of our mistakes (although at times it does). It can also mean staying in line with who we say we want to be. It’s about justifying our actions.

If I say I want to be a person who celebrates others enthusiastically, but I grumble every time I get invited to a birthday party, there’s a disconnect. How can I justify who I want to be with who I currently am? (Also, this is a terrible example because I love birthdays. But hopefully you get the point.)

If I say I want to be in bed by 11pm but I’m lying on the couch pressing play on another episode of a show at 10:53pm, I’m not doing as I said I would. Or at least as I said I wanted to.

These little things are the ways I most often engage with the idea of accountability. I think of it in bigger terms, too, but I’m a person who finds value in starting small. One step at a time. Accountability plays a huge role in my life, and I have found it necessary to have people in my world who have the care and courage to tell me when I’m not living in ways that are worthy of the life I say I want to live—whether that be social, emotional, physical, or spiritual. Because what I’ve learned is we can’t do it on our own. I can’t be the version of myself that I want to without some guidance. And accountability is an underrated piece of that. Sometimes we need to be called out, our irresponsibility pointed out by something separate other than our own hearts. We don’t often see ourselves as we really are. We need the outside perspective.

Think of it as the bumpers at the bowling alley. You can roll yourself down a path, but that gutter is always waiting. But when you’re playing with bumpers, there’s only so far off course you can go. Doesn’t mean you’ll get the outcome you want, but you can save yourself rolling off into a ditch along the way.

Accountability is one of life’s greatest gifts and needs. Lean into it. Offer it to someone close to you (in a loving way, of course). See what happens when you rise to the responsibility of being a mature, deep, and growing version of yourself.