Alexa Babin

Friends are one of life’s most important gifts. Vital to human flourishing. We were made to have relationships with one another. Throughout all the seasons of my life, friends have been one of the key themes, rising to the surface of all my memories. They make the good times better and the bad times less lonely.

Friends matter more than many other things. Of all the things to be known as, good friend is a very important title. I cherish it, whether it’s being given or received. I hope it’s true of me till the end of my days, even though there are plenty of moments I fail at living up to the label.

Good friend.

These words carry so much!

The makings of a good friend overlap with the kind of person I want to be – I wonder if that’s true for all of us. Do we seek out those who embody the traits we ourselves hope to possess?

I think most of us tend to gravitate towards those who are like us. But to have good friends is to have a mirror held up to your life. And I’ve found that the best mirrors are not always the ones whose lives look the most like my own. Diversity of perspective and experience is invaluable when it comes to friends! We need this. We need people who move through the world seeing things differently than we do. Otherwise, we’re living in an echo chamber of our own thoughts, views, opinions, and beliefs.

For me, honesty matters a lot. More than many other traits. But to be honest, most people must first feel safe before sharing honestly. So, maybe it’s the feeling of safety that counts a great deal. Safety, honesty, and… kindness. That’s another one. And I don’t mean the sort of kind that’s merely nice – I mean true, genuine kindness. This is an overflow of the heart. The kind person is the one who thinks of others. They live in active consideration of those around them.

Something else that makes a good friend is willingness, and I do mean that in a rather general sense. Are they willing to be goofy with me? Willing to dance? Willing to take the time to drive halfway across town to meet in the middle? Willing to share those vulnerable things that are hard to say out loud? Willing to ask for help so that I have permission to ask when I need it down the road? Willingness, to me, is an underrated quality in friendship.

A good friend reminds me what is true. In this world, it can be oh so easy to believe lies, but a good friend won’t let you. They care too much for your soul’s well-being to stand silently while you let the rampant untruths floating around become real. A person who can lovingly, or should I say kindly, point me to the truth of a situation has the makings of a good friend.

And how about a sense of humor? Maybe it sounds a bit shallow, but humor is one of life’s greatest coping mechanisms, forces of connection, and sources of joy. A friend who can find the humor in nearly any situation is a beautiful thing.

I could drone on and on about friends and what makes them delightful, but I’ll let you fill in the rest. What traits or qualities would make your list?

Does it take a good friend to have one?

What would your good friends say about who you are?

All food for thought this Friday evening. What I know is this – my friends rule. They are simply the best. I’ll be saying this till the end of time, just watch.

Thank God for good friends.